Tom Mingle (1961-2008)
Tommy leaves a loving mother and father, Mary Lou and Gerald Mingle, two brothers, Mike (Audrey) and Rick (Cheryl), a sister JoAnn (Joe) D'Amato, four nephews and two nieces, Mike, Mark, Jerry and Lauren Mingle, Mariah and Joey D'Amato.
Officiating was everything for Tom. He lived it, breathed it, and talked about it throughout his life. His accomplishments on the field are almost too many to name..Maybe his top accomplishment was being the first Buffalo referee EVER to be a NISOA , and USSF National Referee.
Tommy refereed at the professional level, college level, high school,and youth levels for over a quarter of a century. He did several international matches in 1994 during the World University Games held in Buffalo. Tom was on the field for the first ever soccer match ( A- League) ever held at Frontier Field in Rochester. He has officiated countless youth soccer tournaments, including over a decade at the Eastern Regionals, many State Cups, and several High School state finals.
Tommy was a founding member of the Buffalo Women's Lacrosse Organization, a district rated referee the officiated top level collegiate and varsity women's games for over fifteen years in several eastern states.
The sport which he did the most was hockey. If there was a game going on in WNY on a Tuesday night, there was a good chance that he had the whistle.
Tommy touched so many people's lives, he was a leader on and off the field/ice. He was a mentor to some, a excellent partner to many, and a great friend to all..
WE WILL MISS YOU!!!!!!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!
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On 09/22/08 22:42 Dave Simpkin said:
We will all miss the smiling face and thick mustached fellow I always called Thomas (Tow Moss). I will always remember the sincerity in a greeting with Tom. It was like clockwork. After an exchange of greeting's, and his infectous smile, Thomas would always give an update on someone he knew. As someone mentioned earlier, he always remembered people; and expected the rest of us did as well. I still wonder if that wasn't often a little inside joke on his part; and he was in fact fabricating some names to see if anyone would call him on it. Still, the fact he knew so many people made me leary of ever questioning it!
Every time I go somewhere where our paths often crossed, you are noticable by your absence.
And Thomas; you were right about the Molson.............
On 09/18/08 14:49 Christine Scello said:
To the Mingle Family,
Tom was a great friend and referee. We have refereed soccer together for 10-15 yrs (since he came back from California)and headed out on many road trips... from regionals in New Jersey and Erie,PA in the 80's and 90's, to Lake Placid's "Dawn to Dusk" tourney to many college soccer games. About 5 years, Tom got me into Lacrosse and I traveled again with him to PA and Rochester for college games. I miss that...
I still think of Tommy everyday and miss him dearly. I pray he is at peace and looking down on us, helping us make that right call, giving us that extra strength to finish up a tough game.
You'll always be in my heart Tommy. God bless you and your family and may we continue to referee with the love of the game as Tommy did.
Sincerely,
Christine Scello and The Scello Family
On 09/12/08 13:23 Bob Wells said:
Tom's leaving us makes such an incredible void in our lives; but thinking about the Mingle Man always makes me smile. There was not a mean bone in his body, and a more gentle soul there never was.
Tommy, I know you're in a better place right now, hopefully pacing a sideline in your zebra stripes. You will always be the ultimate Blocker, and will be so truly missed.
Your friend Bob
On 09/10/08 23:51 Mike McMullen said:
I am truly sorry to here about the loss of Tom. I worked many games with Tom in USSF at the Regional and Ameateur level. He will be truly missed. He was a great friend and a mentor to the game of soccer in the WNY area. He will be truly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yoyr family.
Regards,
Mike McMullen
Pittsburgh, PA
On 09/10/08 11:22 LL said:
To the Familiy and Friends of Tom:
I was greatly saddened to hear of the loss of Tom - I know Tommy and enjoyed his light hearted nature and youthful outlook on life.
Tom had once tried to get me to be a girls laccrosse refereree and was passionate about how imporant the officials were for the game.
If a good life is to be judged by not by how long you live but how much you lived then I will say Tom had a great life because he surrounded himself with caring peopple and loving people who appreciated him very much.
I know he will be missed very much but I am so glad that I knew him. He was rich and successful in more ways than can be defined.
God Bless you Blocker !
LL
On 09/09/08 21:07 Rich Skop said:
i've known tom for many years even though i haven't seen him in a few years we used to have great conversations.tom was a good and honest refree in hockey and soccer and will be missed. my thoughts are with the family.
On 09/09/08 10:34 Derek Cline said:
Tommy will be truely missed around the rinks this winter and winters to come. He sure knew how to hold a conversation. He would call for games and next thing I know im on the phone for a half hour before we would forget that he originally called me for games. I can remember the countless nights I would stop in Tony Romes to meet up w/the boys after a game and there was Tommy sitting at the bar waiting for the same guys to come in, drinking his molson canadian just laughing and having a good time.
My deepest sympathies go out to the entire Mingle Family.
RIP Tom
Derek Cline (NYSHOA)
On 09/09/08 10:12 Pete Morris said:
I'll never forget one of the first times I met Tom was in the referee room at Holiday. He was carrying on 3 different conversations with 3 different people in the room and not missing a beat. I was amazed.
As I got to know Tom better that moment was indicative of his personality and character. Every conversation, every person he met was important to him. His concern was genuine, his enthusiasm was contagious.
Tom will certainly be missed, he already is. But Tom lives with us in every life he touched, in every friend, in every young referee that he encouraged, in every one of us. And, when you have an opportunity to help a young official (or anyone) with a word of encouragement or a bit of advice, do it because Tom would have done it.
Keep Tom and the Mingle family in your thoughts and prayers.
On 09/09/08 07:35 Ron Smith said:
For the past nine years Tommy has acted as one of my many mentor's, supporters, and friends on and off the pitch. Tommy always taught organization, knowledge and common sense. Be prepared, know who you are officiating, who to watch, and always find the player or players that can talk a teammate through a bad spot.
Off the pitch he could talk about anything subject with ease and he had no qualms about letting you know what he thought about it. He was always a positive influence.
To the family from my family we grieve with your loss, we share your sorrow, and we are here to help in any way we can. Please know you are part of our little community. May peace come to your hearts and sorrows be replaced with laughter and joy.
On 09/09/08 07:31 Ray Pollak said:
TOM MINGLE 9-7-08
Tom introduced me to Soccer Refereeing at age 40 and continued to be my MENTOR.
I always told him – you’ve got it made! “The Life of Tom Mingle” (Living at home / traveling and trips / around the game of Soccer / exercising / cash business). When I retire, I can join you – full time. Well, Tom was more than that, he was my Mentor.
I spoke to him everyday, especially after each soccer game to discuss the game. We went on trips to PA together for refereeing to “learn and have fun” he would say! There we had first hand experience (w/ FIFA referee’s); He advised me; just limit yourself to (4) games, and of course I didn’t, and injuries prevailed – could not walk by the 3rd day.
The other day, while I was running at Chesnut Ridge in the peacefulness of the woods – reflections about Tommy really sank in and what he meant to me; as I broke down several times I thought: TOMMY, you are a:
· Great Conversationalist because you were such a good listener! No matter what the conversation was; you turned it around back to me, it was never about you, you never complained, even through the painful end.
· Person that Embodied the qualities that I look for in a friend: such as sincerity, trust, and encouragement.
· Leader that had vision and insightful ideas, good listening skills, preparedness and
hard-work. You always challenged the status quo, with your stubbornness.
· Philosopher: For you taught me it takes different personalities for refereeing. You would say: “Just manage the game”, “Sometimes the coach’s are yelling at you about something … and they’re right”, “See Ray, if you would have listened to me long ago, you could have been a State Referee”!
Tom never took handouts, or was part of the good ‘old boys network’, he made his own way. He was organized (especially w/ homemade spreadsheets, and calendars that he sent to me). Yes, Tom is gone physically, but his spirit (lively as it was w/ fire and passion) lives on!
Someone once said: “Success is what you’ve done with the God given talent’s that have been given to you”; well in my eyes, Tom Mingle was a success and has fulfilled his Life’s Purpose: as a listener, a mentor and most of all …… a FRIEND!
- Ray Pollak -